Damaged Within Repair

Update!

Miss Wiggy — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:32:00 +0000

Okay. Sooooo….I don’t have internet access these days. I’m saving for a laptop because I’m a technophile and can’t really live happily without the ‘net. It’s true. Forget all that stuff you hear about how turning off your TV and computer and phone will help you enjoy things more and blahblahblah. No! The internet is the information superhighway!! Anything I want to know/need to know is a google away!!!!!!

Ahem…so, um, anyway. I’ll be back soon y’all. I haven’t forgotten. Hope my readers are still tuning in.

BTW—I weigh 98 lbs and my body fat is 15%. Sigh.

Hiatus

Miss Wiggy — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 21:20:46 +0000

All right, all right. I recognize I haven’t been around. The 8-week transformation had to be put on hold, which we talked about before. Other things had to take priority. I need to regroup and I’ll come back at ya with a new plan, because we’re soooooooo not done yet here! Give me some time to get organized and I’ll be back and better. I’m not going away. I miss this place! But I haven’t had time for emailing or any of that fun stuff these days. I’m even behind on Britney gossip! That’s how I know I’m busy.

See y’all soon.

A different path than I started down

Miss Wiggy — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:10:37 +0000

Oh, damn. Did I say I’d be back before the month was out? Looks like all that talking about accountability that I did back when I started the blog is coming back to bite me in the ass.

I’m lagging, y’all, and I admit it. While I’m confessing, I need you to know that I started my ab workout on Tuesday night and gave up after ten minutes. I went and ate and then promptly passed out from exhaustion half an hour later.

Now, here’s one thing I realized. Month 1 of the 8-week transformation was centered around my working out and gaining weight. And although I’ve totally gotten behind with my working out, month 2 has still been about transformation. I’ve just been hauling ass trying to find a job and doing these “employment workshops”. Basically, I’m in The System now. My focus is on getting out of it. I’ll have to blog about it some other time, but I’ll very briefly say that I think The System is designed to keep you lower class. So I struggle with that. Getting a job has proved harder than I thought it would be. When I was childless, I was able to be very flexible with my work hours. Now, as a single mom, nights-weekends-holidays are out of the question. I don’t have the luxury of family nearby that could help me out in that respect. And the jobs that I’m qualifyed for, have experience in? All need you to work nights-weekends-holidays. I’ve finally had to lower my salary expectation and try for other jobs that I’m overqualified for because of location and scheduling. I did aim for the stars and tried to get a writing job with a site that I frequent since I saw they needed a new writer, but no cigar.

Anyhow—-month 2 has been about another kind of strength training. It’s definitely been about enduring all I possibly can, about struggling through. It’s been about pushing, fighting, sweating, hurting—-doing things I feared having to face. It’s been about days where I’ve broken down crying wondering how much more I can take, feeling like I don’t want to do all this anymore. And realizing that this is LIFE. This is all necessary. And as the saying goes, you can either give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got.” Guess which one I’m doing?

Missing in Action…but not giving up

Miss Wiggy — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:48:52 +0000

Soooo….let’s just say circumstances have led me to go on hiatus for the past two weeks. I’m coming back here in a week and picking up the day I left off to continue with the 8 weeks. Now, don’t jump all over my back about it. I’ve been getting tons of cardio in from speed walking all over the place, and did work out twice this week. But when you’ve got nothing more than a place to rest your head when you go to sleep at night, getting that ab workout in isn’t a priority. I suck my gut in all day long, if that counts for anything, and I did get two workouts in this week.

I’ll be back before the month is out, children. Maybe someday I’ll talk about how shi*ty it is having to be on welfare…..

Meanwhile, I’m not giving up on the goals, and this journey will continue. I’m doing the best I can, y’all, with what I have.

Week 5–Day 32….Yes, I’m still here y’all.

Miss Wiggy — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:45:53 +0000

So…it’s time to bust out the measuring tape and get this party started. I was supposed to do this a few days ago and the end of week 4, but my three-year-old hid my measuring tape. Right before I began Operation Get Your Fat Ass Back, I took my first measurements. Now, I’ve had a hectic two weeks and spent a lot of time pounding the pavement and sitting around waiting for the bus in this sauna they call Texas. So I expect to have slimmed down more than I’ve bulked up with muscle. I’m taking the measurements as I post this.

Ready? Okay, here I go.

Waist–26 inches
Hips—35 inches
Thighs–18 inches
Calves–12.5 inches
Bicep–9 inches

Ony two things different: the thighs and waist, and not by much. But I can definitely see an overall difference, so that’s what counts most. I’m doing the weigh in two days early this time around because I probably won’t have access to a scale on my usual weigh in day.

I mentioned I would talk about how I’m feeling these days. The biggest difference is that it is so easy now to fit working out into my day. I spend a lot of time out in 100 degree weather these days since I don’t have a car for the time being, so when I come home I’m a little beat. Doesn’t matter, I still make that effort to work out. And it’s really not hard to get motivated to either. I get about an hour workout each time I do. There’s not a huge difference in my body. Some days my belly button doesn’t look as gross or wrinkly, but maybe I’m just imagining that. Although there’s still a long way to go, I have definitely made a difference in that midsection area. It’s good to see the results. I’m sure that’s what keeps me going. Baby steps, but progress is being made.

Uh-oh! Is it Day 28 already?

Miss Wiggy — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:43:30 +0000

Wow! I didn’t realize I’d neglected to post all this week. What a hectic week! Just so you know, I did keep up with my workouts. Did my strength training, did my Tae Bo, did the ab workouts. Did some more pilates too, and that’s going to be a big part of my workout. I get why so many people turn into pilates freaks. It is an awesome workout. I’m still at the very beginner’s stage, but I’m loving it so far and can’t wait to do more.

The bad news is that I didn’t do well with the eating at all this week. I made sure I ate at least three meals a day, but really wasn’t focusing on eating. I was stressed from so many crucial things going on this week, and ate as much as I could. Drastic changes are being made in my life and I’m just trying to hold it all together. I’m proud of myself that no matter how tired I was, I still got that workout in.

A scary moment was when I weighed myself on Thursday night just to be sure I wasn’t wasting away, and even though my weight didn’t drop, my body fat went down to 11%. Yikes! I did a lot of walking and spent a lot of time out in the sun, so the fat is just melting off. I really feel the difference in my legs. So I really need to renew my commitment to eating and bulking up(in a good way!).

My shoulders got sunburnt the other day, so it’s made working out even more challenging. *cring* But I’m applying my vitamin E and keeping the skin moisturized, so hopefully I don’t die from skin cancer a year from now. I am six shades of pale and burn easily. I’ve had far too many sunburns on my shoulders and nose. I really want one of those spray tans, but what the hell is in that stuff?

I’ve entered week 4. Welcome back, Booty!

Miss Wiggy — Mon, 26 May 2008 16:10:10 +0000

Day 22 was weigh in day. Let me just get this over with because it was disappointing. I was kinda hoping I might get an extra pound in there because Aunt Flo is supposed to be getting into town soon, but she was no help. ‘Kay, so I came in at 97.4 lbs and 14.7 body fat. Which means that I’ve actually dropped weight and fat. Which would be good for most other people. However, I’m not discouraged. Why is that? The Booty’s coming back, as I announced in my headline. To celebrate this, I put on my smallest pair of booty shorts, pranced around in front of the mirror and danced around the house for a good half hour. Then I told myself to calm down and changed back into my sweats. I’m not quite ready to run out and get pics taken doing the “dump squat”(photos aren’t quite SFW, so click with caution), as I prefer to call it. And really, I don’t know why people think that pose is sexy, so you won’t catch me in a picture like that either way.

I still have one week go til the I’m officially through, so I’ll save the true rejoicing for then.

Day 19—I think I can…I think I can….

Miss Wiggy — Fri, 23 May 2008 18:46:58 +0000

I did something dangerous yesterday. When I got out of the shower, I tried on my bikinis. I have a couple of bikinis that I’ve had for several years now and never even been able to wear because I became pregnant shortly after getting them. So they’ve been stashed in the bottom drawer of my dresser since being purchased. Tags and crotch protector still on and everything. Why I decided to do this, I couldn’t tell you. I have no clue. The conclusion? I looked pretty decent. Legs looked nice, butt actually looked cute(for being so small), and the belly didn’t make me cry. Still needs work, but it wasn’t horrendous. That’s an improvement! Would I go out in public with one on right now? Hell no. Oh, no, no, no. But I was able to look at myself and go “not too bad”, and actually feel like I’ve been making strides. I’m on my way! I so look forward to the end to see how far I’ve made it.

I scaled back the working out this week to see how I’d feel. Last night I just did a Pilates for Beginners video that was 1/2 an hour long. I find pilates challenging, and definitely something I would like to master. Wednesday night I did the Ab Bootcamp. I skipped working out on Tuesday. Every single day I dance(just freestyle) for maybe a half hour or so, and I consider that to be my cardio. I love music and dancing, so have made this part of my daily routine. It’s quite the mood booster. I’m kicking the working out up a bit; I didn’t like skipping days. I’ve been working out for a steady month now so I think I could stand to push myself a tad bit further.

On the agenda this weekend is to create a workout calendar for myself. I want more structure. I wish I could afford a personal trainer so I could just have someone tell me what to do. Heh. Instead I’ll just have to scour the internet and figure it out for myself. I think I’ll also have to plan out menus for myself, because this whole “eating more” thing isn’t all that successful. I’m pretty certain I didn’t gain any weight this week. Boo. But Week 3 is not over yet! Does it make you sick that I have so much trouble putting weight on? Most of the stuff you read is about people trying to get weight off, and here I am whining about my desire to gain 10 pounds. Not to mention my desire to get a bigger ass. Please don’t throw things at me.

Day 16….getting my ass kicked by Billy Blanks

Miss Wiggy — Tue, 20 May 2008 18:17:45 +0000

So yesterday I was due to do the Basic Bootcamp workout, and I decided I needed to finally suck it up and start using the billy bands. I’m in week 3 now, I need to at least start. Damn, I could not make it even ten minutes with those bands on! It really hit home that I have a long way to go. That just means I’ll feel that much better when I can complete the workout with them. Let me tell you, you feel that shit in your abs the.entire.time. Just awesome. Too bad I’m such a little weakling that I had to put them to the side and finish without them.

At the end of week four, I’m going to discuss whether or not I feel any changes in the way my body looks. But I will say right now that the thing I notice the most already is that I’m getting my waist back. I can rest my hands on my waist and feel where it dips in; I can feel it starting to whittle down. That’s exciting, and a great motivator. With continued hard work, I’m really going to change that thing. ::fingers crossed:: I know it’s cheesy, but all the stuff that Billy says in the video about not stopping, about pushing harder, about changing your life—-all that works for me! I definitely talk back to the TV. Maybe it’s helpful since I’m doing this all at home, not in a class at the gym. There are parts where he’ll stop and look at the camera and talk right to you, and I admit that I eat it up like cake. Billy be preaching! But ya know, whatever works for you, right? I see now why his videos do so well.

Day 15—-week two completed!!! Let’s keep it going…

Miss Wiggy — Sun, 18 May 2008 22:20:02 +0000

So today is Day 15, which also means it’s weigh in time. First let me fill you in on what I did for the remainder of last week, since days 11-14 are missing. I didn’t work out on days 10-13. I got a lot of walking in on Thursday, but that’s the extent of it. I also remained pretty active all through Friday. Saturday was when I finally got serious and put in some time. I did the ab bootcamp and the Core Secrets Bun Battle, along with some other ass exercises. It was highly necessary for me to get that workout in that day, because I started feeling a little down. I wanted to sleep all of Saturday—I just had no energy. Now, I recognize that it’s not actually because I didn’t work out for a few days. I had a number of stressful events happen from Wed-Fri, and I think that is what prompted my body to ask for a little rest. So I did rest, but I made sure to get that workout in. Gotta do it today too, because I need that postivity back that I’ve developed since beginning the 8-week plan. That’s the biggest help for me that this point.

That was all to prepare you for the weigh in. I did make sure to eat as much as I was able, but most days I didn’t really have any dinner. I still ate, but I think some chicken and rice would have helped me out a little better. The one thing I’ve been doing a lot more of is drinking milk with all my meals. I used to have either water or an occasional soda. Now it’s a glass of 2%. I’m debating on throwing some whole milk in the mix too, what do you think? Just for the little bit of extra fat. I’m not sure yet. I also started having yogurt with my lunch. I’m going by that info I put in a previous post where it says to have low-fat dairy if you want to gain weight. Oh, are you still waiting for the weigh in results? Fine, here goes. Weight: 98.6. Body fat—15.9%. By now you should know that I’m pretty happy with the increase in body fat. I cheated and measured my waist again, and I’ve still kept the inch off that I lost last week. So that’s good news. And….I don’t want to jump the gun or anything….but….it looks a little better. That little pouch I have under my belly button does seem to be going away. My belly button is still gross, BTW. But that’s going to take a lot of hard work if it does improve, so I’m trying not to trip. I went ahead and measured where the fat is right under the belly button, so that I have something to go by, and it’s at 31 inches now. Last time I took measurements was for my April 22 post, and I’ve decided to redo the measurements at the end of week 4. That’s in two weeks!